For years I worked in the hotel industry. Bartending, banquets, room service, you name it. And being that a hotel never shuts down for the holidays, I found myself working nearly every Christmas and Thanksgiving. I would bring food and drinks to families as they gathered around their Thanksgiving table and listen to their laughter and stories, the updates on their lives. The food smelled amazing, the music was joyful, the spirit was high.
And that was how my holidays went for years. Working to make sure others enjoyed the special day that I was not able to celebrate in the same way.
But did that ruin my holiday? Did that mean I didn’t have anything to be thankful for? Did that mean I couldn’t celebrate like everyone else?
No, it didn’t. Thanksgiving isn’t about the actual day it falls on. Christmas isn’t about waking up in the morning and opening presents. The holidays are so much more than that.
Not being able to celebrate how others were celebrating didn’t mean I wasn’t thankful for anything. It didn’t mean that I didn’t partake in a huge helping of stuffing and turkey and mashed potatoes like everyone else. I just had to do it a little differently. Some years I would celebrate a good Thanksgiving meal on the weekend, or late in the evening. And sometimes not at all.
But I was always thankful. I always thought of those in my life who I cherished. Even if I wasn’t able to sit around a table and laugh with them.
The holidays are more than that. Sometimes it takes not being together to remember that.
Sometimes it takes a global pandemic to remind us to be truly thankful for what is important in our lives.
My mother called me this morning. She was crying. She insisted they were tears of joy from a good memory but I know there was some sadness in there as well. She turned on the Macy’s Parade and it reminded of her of a time, not too long ago, of us walking through New York City during Christmas. I was carrying my young son on my shoulders and we were so happy.
My mother turned on the parade and the memories flooded over her and she started to cry. So she called me.
This year has been hard on her. It has been hard on all of us. It is reminding us how much we need each other. How much a simple stroll down a street looking at Christmas decorations can mean to us. How much a hug means to us. How much a family sitting around a table and catching up with their lives means to us.
But we don’t need a certain day for us to be able to celebrate. We don’t need a certain occasion. We can celebrate another day.
This year has taught me many things, good and bad. It has angered me, frustrated me, scared me. But it has also enlightened me. The best time of the pandemic, if you can say such a thing, was the time at the beginning when my wife and I were both not working. We were constantly worried about how long we could hold on financially. We were worried about the world outside. But in middle of that worry, we were both home, healthy, and spending all our time with our two children. We got to sleep in, stay up late, laugh, play games, watch our kids grow. I am thankful for that time we spent together in the beginning of it all.
I am thankful.
And I didn’t need a day set aside to be reminded of that.
