There is a reason why Cleveland fans say “Cleveland Against the World!” It isn’t because everyone hates us (well, Pittsburgh fans do), it’s because nobody wants to be us. Nobody wants to willingly join the Cleveland fan base. And why would they?
Our list of failures and close calls are so long, and so infamous, that non Cleveland fans even know many of them by name.
The Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, The Move, The Decision
But the list of sports failures that Cleveland fans remember is much longer.
Red Right 88, The Catch (Willie Mays), the 2007 ALCS, 10-Cent Beer Night, Jose Mesa blows the 1997 World Series, the rain delay in the 2016 World Series, the last two World Series appearances both ending in extra inning losses in Game 7, Bottlegate.
The list can go on and on for Cleveland fans. This is how we cope. Shared misery. A kinship among northeastern Ohioans that binds us together.
It doesn’t help that many of our neighbors and family members chose to shun Ohio’s greatest city for their out of state rival, the Pittsburgh Steelers. Thanksgiving fights aren’t over politics in northeast Ohio. They most likely started from a cousin mocking Cleveland and bringing up all the championships in Pittsburgh.
NOBODY CARES, FRANK! Nobody likes the city of Pittsburgh anyway. You have how many rivers in your city and you’ve never set them on fire. Not once. So get out of here with your Lombardi trophy nonsense. (Though, Pittsburgh Dad on YouTube is quite funny. Brought to you by arn city beer)
Where was I?
Oh yes, Cleveland misery.
But, the Browns have won 10 games, why are you upset?
I’LL TELL YOU WHY!!
Because all we have to do is win today and we are in the playoffs for the first time in 18 years. EIGHTEEN YEARS!! Win one game at home and we make the playoffs.
But guess who we are playing? The Pittsburgh bleeping Steelers
Our nemesis has the opportunity to end our season. They can send us home. They can rip out our hearts and stomp on them and then put them back in our chests so we will be alive to watch them play in the playoffs.
But aren’t the Steelers resting most of their starters? And even if you lose, can’t you still get in if other teams lose?
HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING???
This is Cleveland. We have figured out ways to destroy our own souls that would make the devil jealous.
You see a Pittsburgh practice squad playing our starters. I see an opportunity for Steelers fans to heckle us into oblivion. Pittsburgh is starting Mason Rudolph at quarterback. You know that guy? The quarterback whose head Myles Garrett played whack a mole with? How poetic would that be if Mason Rudolph were to eliminate the Browns.
Steelers fans will never, EVER let us live this one down if they win. They wont even have to say anything. Cousin Frank will just look at us for two seconds and start laughing. And we will know. We will KNOW!
Also, most Cleveland fans are also Ohio State fans and we worry that we just spent all of our karma on the Buckeyes route of Clemson.
Ohio State advancing to the Natty and the Browns advancing to the playoffs in the same weekend may be too much for the universe to handle.
A Browns win could undo reality.
The Moon would lose its orbit and crash into New Zealand.
And this is what it is like to be a Cleveland fan.
Yes, there is a different feel with this Browns team. We can all feel it. The core is strong, the coach is strong, there is Hope there that has not been felt in decades.
And that’s what worries me even more.
My lifelong Browns fan skepticism is inching to the surface. Instead of seeing ways to win, I am seeing ways we can lose.
Win this game and we make the playoffs for the first time in 18 years. Lose and there is a good chance that it will be added to our long list of misery. The Drive, The Fumble, The Move, The Steelers.
Yeah, so forgive me if I am a nervous wreck today.
This is how it is in Cleveland Land.
This is the way.
